this was supposed to be done as one of the goals during semester break

and I didn't manage to achieve that as I was somehow more busy than I was during classes

so! semester break was a fruitful one, I've spent alot of time cuddling my dog, and
it's when you've grown so far away from your initial position that you finally
will realise that it's the simplest things that makes life better

I achieved one of my yearly goals! got elected for the portfolio I've always wanted to
exposed some of my flaws and insecurities took too almost too much but
when the seniors approached me to tell me that i need to narrow down what I'm looking at
and that I should not stretch myself too thin (like everyone has been telling me to)
I've made a decision to take some time and focus

(well, I'm procrastinating now so there's that)

I went to Pahang for a short family getaway
spent most of the time on a laptop and only had a short few hours away from it when we went out to the extremely beautiful beach
there are so many people I wish to bring here
but in order to make that happen, I'll need to push myself as much as I could first

then DIYC happened
I thought I was the only one that was going there until
Brandon hit me up and told me that he's going
and then I saw Calvin chairing a council
it was an amazing experience
I did the best I could ever in a conference
and I got the recognition (was one of the most notable ones in the conference lmao i actually caused a resolution to fail)
it was then that I realise that how happy I can be when I was surrounded with the right people
like-minded, witty, and hilarious people that are ever more intelligent that I can ever imagine
it was where I feel that I belong, and I'm proud and happy with them, and even if the grind
is hard, it feels like nothing when we go together
(meal times are the best)
(might co-found a startup soon, we'll see how it goes)

sometimes people ask me why I don't spend more than the minimum hours in school
why I never try to socialize more with my classmates
I know I'm being an elitist here, and I'm an ass for this
but I don't feel like I belong here
I don't feel the joy and mirth I experience when I'm around the right bunch
so what's the point, you know?

that's the bright part of it, at least
there are the shady parts, but I rather not talk about it
they're not so powerful anymore, though, so that's good

I miss all my friends. I haven't been updating my will for quite a while, so I gotta
deal with that soon

happy birthday, you little shit

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